Boy oh boy, 2010 has been full of surprises. This latest gem kicked up my fake ulcer for about two weeks.
In September, I learned that I have a small fibroid smack dab in the middle of my uterus. Disconcerting news made even worse by the fact that my OBGYN of 15 years did not make the diagnosis, even after my uterus showed signs of dis-ease. As her medical practice has evolved away from delivering babies to tummy tucks and thousand dollar diet gimmicks, she has become less vigilant about the unique needs of Black woman’s reproductive organs. I do not make this statement lightly and know that I am not the only patient she failed to refer to a specialist or for a pelvic ultrasound.
Still salty, I called my new OBGYN (love her!) with twenty questions: was it possible to shrink fibroids? did I need to change my diet? switch to decaffeinated coffee? re-think birth control, since estrogen causes fibroids to grow? could I carry a baby to term? My doc provided thorough responses and told me that the fibroid would not interfere with pregnancy. Laughing she added, “The fibroid is the least of your worries; your age is your biggest issue.”
Hardly feeling my 41 years, I asked, “So, it’s like that?”
“Yes it is,” she said all cheery. “And if you want to have a baby, you need to get to it. Asap.” More laughter.
I politely hung up.
Instead of hyperventilating, I felt like a sprinter just before “Go!” is yelled: Alert. Focused. In the moment. Crazy as it sounds, knowing that I need to get pregnant immediately has relaxed me. However, the idea of baby number two being replaced with the reality of my closing reproductive window is salient. Back against the wall, I adopted Diddy’s motto: no bitch-assness and faced the men in my life. I stated my intentions to have a biological child sooner rather than later and emphasized the need for a life partner, not sperm donor. The weed out was successful, resulting with one man standing.
Time is no longer on my side. I get that. And though physically my body may or may not cooperate, emotionally I am at my peak.
©2011

I really enjoy your perspective. You are authentic, thoughtful, funny and relatable. It’s a funny thing that closing window. It’s also ironic how many years I’ve spent avoiding pregnancy to think the option will soon be completely unavailable, it sort of feels like one of the eclipse that happens once per century. Honestly, I don’t know what to think. Sometimes I want to declare I will never host another baby in this body! Only to be faced with overwhelming emotion and desire when I really let the completion of the thought set in. Each time I decided that God/Universe/my enlightened self knows what is in store for my future. Its best if I just be present with the child that’s here demanding my attention and energy right now.
Being present keeps my anxiety level low. lol
Being present is key. I am going to claim that for 2011.