Boy oh boy, 2010 has been full of surprises. This latest gem kicked up my fake ulcer for about two weeks.
In September, I learned that I have a small fibroid smack dab in the middle of my uterus. Disconcerting news made even worse by the fact that my OBGYN of 15 years did not make the diagnosis, even after my uterus showed signs of dis-ease. As her medical practice has evolved away from delivering babies to tummy tucks and thousand dollar diet gimmicks, she has become less vigilant about the unique needs of Black woman’s reproductive organs. I do not make this statement lightly and know that I am not the only patient she failed to refer to a specialist or for a pelvic ultrasound.
Still salty, I called my new OBGYN (love her!) with twenty questions: was it possible to shrink fibroids? did I need to change my diet? switch to decaffeinated coffee? re-think birth control, since estrogen causes fibroids to grow? could I carry a baby to term? My doc provided thorough responses and told me that the fibroid would not interfere with pregnancy. Laughing she added, “The fibroid is the least of your worries; your age is your biggest issue.”
Hardly feeling my 41 years, I asked, “So, it’s like that?”
“Yes it is,” she said all cheery. “And if you want to have a baby, you need to get to it. Asap.” More laughter.
I politely hung up.
Instead of hyperventilating, I felt like a sprinter just before “Go!” is yelled: Alert. Focused. In the moment. Crazy as it sounds, knowing that I need to get pregnant immediately has relaxed me. However, the idea of baby number two being replaced with the reality of my closing reproductive window is salient. Back against the wall, I adopted Diddy’s motto: no bitch-assness and faced the men in my life. I stated my intentions to have a biological child sooner rather than later and emphasized the need for a life partner, not sperm donor. The weed out was successful, resulting with one man standing.
Time is no longer on my side. I get that. And though physically my body may or may not cooperate, emotionally I am at my peak.