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A dear friend shared his story with me and now I share it with you.

 

When Alvin decided to adopt, he wasn’t ready for response from his communities.

via A Grandmother’s Legacy: A Single Black Gay Man Adopts -.

I just met this wonderful couple who have adopted two children. Elaine and Mignon, a same sex African American couple, represent a demographic rarely discussed in the media and share some of their journey with the Huffington Post.

Check out Mignon’s book, Invisible Families: Gay Identities, Relationships and Motherhood Among Black Women.

 

“We had some friends who became parents through foster-adoption,” said Elaine, a graphic designer who specializes in web design and branding. “Mignon’s own parents adopted children through the foster care system as well, so we had models for successful outcomes that we could draw upon.

via Mignon And Elaine’s Story From The Let Love Define Family Series.

My son demoted me, his only parent, to the No. 2 position in his life. In this short article, I explain why losing the top spot will be a relief.

 

In the cracker aisle at the grocery store, my seven-year-old informed me that when his dad comes I’ll be his second best parent in the world.

via Single Mom Files: Why I Don’t Claim Mother and Father Status | Essence.com.

Time to come clean about how difficult it is parent two children solo. In this short piece, I tell of how I came to the decision to ask for help.

Enjoy!

 

Last November, I burned my super-woman cape and made the decision to adopt a second child; a girl this time. Suddenly, my carefully crafted house of cards tumbled into a mass of toys on the floor, Baby Einstein DVDs, and late night diaper changes. How I would juggle a seven year old and a 10-month-old as a single working mother was beyond me.

via Why I Stopped Being a Super Mom Woman | Essence.com.

More African Americans are sharing their adoption stories. Yay us!

Like the Bush family featured in this article, I chose a Black boy just so that another man-child did not get left behind.

 

Black boys aren’t as easy to place in adoptive homes, the experts told us; potential parents believe they are harder to rear than little girls.

via A Beautiful Life | Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources.

 

Spring 2014


Vol. 47 No. 2


Many thanks to Adoptive Families Magazine for keeping the conversation about Black women and adoption going! Though my article is only available to subscribers, there are numerous, wonderful archived and current stories that range from explaining adoption to small children to adoption events in your area.

OUR STORY

Yes, We Do Adopt by Nefertiti Austin 

Yes, Black people do adopt, as this mother tells fellow Black women every day.

Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources.

I realize that Mother’s Day was last Sunday, but as far as I am concerned, Foster Mother’s Day is everyday. Foster Mother’s have a tough job, for she is not the hapless birthmother or the heroic adoptive mother, she is the middle woman. She has guts but gets no glory, as the media maligns all of them as evil monsters. She answers the midnight calls for emergency placements and agrees to bend with the tide of anger, sadness and grief foster children bring to her home. She soothes broken spirits and loves beyond what is legally required. She is a valuable commodity in the public adoption realm and should be treasured, because when foster parenting is done right, everybody benefits.

With so many children in foster care, Foster Mother’s Day should be recognized nationally. I think that would go a long way in easing guilt, resentment and loneliness experienced by foster children, foster mothers and birth mothers.

Children across the country will be rolling out the breakfast trays and handmade cards for Mother’s Day. But the holiday brings up mixed feelings for many foster mothers and their children.

via Foster Kids Can Be Torn Between Worlds On Mother’s Day : NPR.

Finally, some good news about domestic adoption! This is the route I took and highly recommend.

The fact that more than 18,000 American families successfully adopt newborn babies in the United States every year belies the widespread misperception that domestic adoption is a difficult, time-consuming, expensive, and risky process. The truth is that most families successfully adopt within two years of beginning the process.

via Domestic Adoption: Perception & Reality | Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources.

As the article suggests, is the real crime the death of the child or her race?

A San Gabriel Valley couple who moved to Qatar to help the tiny country ready itself for hosting the 2020 World Cup games were sentenced Thursday to three years in prison for the death of their adopted daughter, a verdict that stunned those who have followed the case.

via Qatari court sentences Calif. couple to prison for daughter’s death – latimes.com.

Nine years later? Really? Adoption is not a refundable process and yet, people do it.

My guess is that the boy’s current behaviors are not new. And even if they are escalating, that is no reason to give him back. And where is back? Where is this child supposed to go? Presumably, he was adopted (as an infant by the Coxes), because his birth family was unable to care for him. Now, his family, the only one he knows, is abandoning him during his time of need.

Though the article mentions the availability of post adoption services in the Coxes area, no one knows if they took advantage of those resources. Sadly, it’s too late for this family, but hopefully other adoptive families in crisis will seek help.

In the Los Angeles area, contact PAS – Post Adoption Services at (800) 735-4984. “Adoption is a life-long process and as such, the needs of children and their families do not end when an adoption is finalized. The Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) Adoption Division is a resource for ongoing information and services related to adoption. DCFS Adoptions Division created a specialized unit to provide services and support to adoption triad members (adoptive parent, adoptee, birthparent) after adoption finalization occurs. The Post Adoption Services (PAS) Unit has grown over the years to meet the ongoing needs of individuals who have participated in an adoption through Los Angeles County DCFS.” (http://dcfs.co.la.ca.us/adoptions/postadoption.html)

“Adoption is certainly about gain, but it’s also about loss, at its core,” says Jeanne Howard, policy and research director at the Donaldson Institute and director of the Center for Adoption Studies at the Illinois State University School of Social Work. “So for this child to then have a second loss is the potential for him to have a pretty profound wound.”

via Will Couple Be Jailed for Returning Adopted Son After Nine Years? | Parenting – Yahoo Shine.

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