Latest Entries »

Time to come clean about how difficult it is parent two children solo. In this short piece, I tell of how I came to the decision to ask for help.

Enjoy!

 

Last November, I burned my super-woman cape and made the decision to adopt a second child; a girl this time. Suddenly, my carefully crafted house of cards tumbled into a mass of toys on the floor, Baby Einstein DVDs, and late night diaper changes. How I would juggle a seven year old and a 10-month-old as a single working mother was beyond me.

via Why I Stopped Being a Super Mom Woman | Essence.com.

More African Americans are sharing their adoption stories. Yay us!

Like the Bush family featured in this article, I chose a Black boy just so that another man-child did not get left behind.

 

Black boys aren’t as easy to place in adoptive homes, the experts told us; potential parents believe they are harder to rear than little girls.

via A Beautiful Life | Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources.

 

Spring 2014


Vol. 47 No. 2


Many thanks to Adoptive Families Magazine for keeping the conversation about Black women and adoption going! Though my article is only available to subscribers, there are numerous, wonderful archived and current stories that range from explaining adoption to small children to adoption events in your area.

OUR STORY

Yes, We Do Adopt by Nefertiti Austin 

Yes, Black people do adopt, as this mother tells fellow Black women every day.

Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources.

I realize that Mother’s Day was last Sunday, but as far as I am concerned, Foster Mother’s Day is everyday. Foster Mother’s have a tough job, for she is not the hapless birthmother or the heroic adoptive mother, she is the middle woman. She has guts but gets no glory, as the media maligns all of them as evil monsters. She answers the midnight calls for emergency placements and agrees to bend with the tide of anger, sadness and grief foster children bring to her home. She soothes broken spirits and loves beyond what is legally required. She is a valuable commodity in the public adoption realm and should be treasured, because when foster parenting is done right, everybody benefits.

With so many children in foster care, Foster Mother’s Day should be recognized nationally. I think that would go a long way in easing guilt, resentment and loneliness experienced by foster children, foster mothers and birth mothers.

Children across the country will be rolling out the breakfast trays and handmade cards for Mother’s Day. But the holiday brings up mixed feelings for many foster mothers and their children.

via Foster Kids Can Be Torn Between Worlds On Mother’s Day : NPR.

Finally, some good news about domestic adoption! This is the route I took and highly recommend.

The fact that more than 18,000 American families successfully adopt newborn babies in the United States every year belies the widespread misperception that domestic adoption is a difficult, time-consuming, expensive, and risky process. The truth is that most families successfully adopt within two years of beginning the process.

via Domestic Adoption: Perception & Reality | Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources.

As the article suggests, is the real crime the death of the child or her race?

A San Gabriel Valley couple who moved to Qatar to help the tiny country ready itself for hosting the 2020 World Cup games were sentenced Thursday to three years in prison for the death of their adopted daughter, a verdict that stunned those who have followed the case.

via Qatari court sentences Calif. couple to prison for daughter’s death – latimes.com.

Nine years later? Really? Adoption is not a refundable process and yet, people do it.

My guess is that the boy’s current behaviors are not new. And even if they are escalating, that is no reason to give him back. And where is back? Where is this child supposed to go? Presumably, he was adopted (as an infant by the Coxes), because his birth family was unable to care for him. Now, his family, the only one he knows, is abandoning him during his time of need.

Though the article mentions the availability of post adoption services in the Coxes area, no one knows if they took advantage of those resources. Sadly, it’s too late for this family, but hopefully other adoptive families in crisis will seek help.

In the Los Angeles area, contact PAS – Post Adoption Services at (800) 735-4984. “Adoption is a life-long process and as such, the needs of children and their families do not end when an adoption is finalized. The Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) Adoption Division is a resource for ongoing information and services related to adoption. DCFS Adoptions Division created a specialized unit to provide services and support to adoption triad members (adoptive parent, adoptee, birthparent) after adoption finalization occurs. The Post Adoption Services (PAS) Unit has grown over the years to meet the ongoing needs of individuals who have participated in an adoption through Los Angeles County DCFS.” (http://dcfs.co.la.ca.us/adoptions/postadoption.html)

“Adoption is certainly about gain, but it’s also about loss, at its core,” says Jeanne Howard, policy and research director at the Donaldson Institute and director of the Center for Adoption Studies at the Illinois State University School of Social Work. “So for this child to then have a second loss is the potential for him to have a pretty profound wound.”

via Will Couple Be Jailed for Returning Adopted Son After Nine Years? | Parenting – Yahoo Shine.

NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH, 2013

A PROCLAMATION

Every young person deserves the chance to learn and grow under the care of a loving family. Across our Nation, adoptive families give that chance to over a million children and teenagers. During National Adoption Month, we celebrate these families and stand alongside every child still looking for the warmth and stability of a permanent home.

Today, nearly 400,000 American children are in foster care, and each year, thousands age out of care without the security that comes from a permanent family or a place to call home. On November 23, National Adoption Day will offer a sense of hope to children waiting for adoptive parents. As we observe this day, courts across our country will open their doors to finalize adoptions that move young people out of foster care.

My Administration has worked to simplify adoption laws; reduce the amount of time young children go without parents; and ensure adoption rights for all qualified couples and individuals. We are calling for an end to discriminatory barriers that keep children from loving and stable homes. And we are working across all levels of government to eliminate roadblocks to adoption and encourage cooperation between adoption advocates, private organizations, and community and faith-based groups. This January, I was proud to sign legislation to permanently extend the Adoption Tax Credit. And to protect the young people of every nation, I signed the Intercountry Adoption Universal Accreditation Act. This law will promote safe and lawful adoptions by setting Federal standards for all adoption service providers, and it will provide greater safeguards to both parents and children.

This month, we celebrate adopted children, teenagers, and their diverse families. We work to give more young people permanent families and promising futures. And we encourage our friends and neighbors to open their hearts and their homes to children in need.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2013 as National Adoption Month. I encourage all Americans to observe this month by answering the call to find a permanent and caring family for every child in need, and by supporting the families who care for them.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirty-first day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand thirteen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-eighth.

BARACK OBAMA

via Presidential Proclamation — National Adoption Month, 2013 | The White House.

With the Netherlands leading the way, it appears that African American children have become desirable adoptees. “Most American families were, and still are, interested in adopting a white infant. The Dutch families were just interested in adopting an infant. The color of the child’s skin didn’t matter to them,” said Kirsh, former president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys.

As there are nationally more children of color in the system, international adoption may be the answer for some children who otherwise might not grow up with a forever family.

via Rising overseas adoptions — for black American children – CNN.com.

With so much interest in this child, I hope that he is matched with the right parent(s). Otherwise, his pleas for a forever family may result in major disappointment.

Two weeks ago, Davion Navar Henry Only, 15, dressed in a dark suit and borrowed tie, told the packed church that he was seeking a family to call his own.

via Florida church flooded with calls after 15-year-old orphan asks for family to adopt him | Fox News.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 182 other followers