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Dr. John DeGarmo and his wife have fostered over 45 children and even adopted three. Like foster parents all over the country, they experience a loss each time one of their “children” move on but continue to open their hearts anyway.

What an inspiring article!

There are other children out there, right now, who need a home and need a family. There is a child out there right now who needs us to love him. There is a child out there right now who needs YOU to love him.

Source: What I Wish Others Knew About How Foster Parents Grieve | Dr. John DeGarmo

Simple truths about foster kids and ways you can help.

“…what if instead, on your first day back to school nobody cared enough to take a photo of you? What if you’d grown up with hardly any moments that were even photo worthy?”

Source: Foster Kids: Our Inconvenient Truth | Lola Reed

My friend Stacia L. Brown of BeyondBabyMama asked me to write an update about my life as the single adoptive mother of two.

October 12th is a seminal date in my family. It will mark my grandmother’s 90th birthday and the day my daughter came home. via BBM Revisits: Black Adoptive Mother Nefertiti Austin | beyond baby mamas.

Adoptee VanDerWerff writes that adoption is more and less interesting than non-adopted people think. This may seem an odd statement to make given the loss birth families experience and the loss of connection between adoptees and biological families. However, adoption is typically not fraught with tug-o-wars over the children and lots of families opt for open relationships with birth families. Adoption isn’t always rosy either, and VanDerWerff describes how adoptees deal with missing and meeting biological family members and suggests that most adoptees are ultimately satisfied with their adoptive families.

There’s a reason Clark Kent is our most famous fictional adoptee — and a reason so many adoptees (including me) strongly identify with him. He might love his parents and adopted world, but there will always be something that connects him to a secret history he carries in his heart. If there’s a common thread among the adoptees I’ve talked to for this article, it’s that weird link between known backstory and personal truth.

via Genes aren’t destiny, and other things I’ve learned from being adopted – Vox.

Delighted to share a list of myths about foster care. Hopefully, these will be put to rest for good.

With more than 100,000 children in foster care still waiting for permanent homes, an adoption such as Breanna’s is more than just a family milestone. It’s a sign that attitudes about adopting from foster care are starting to shift.

via Adopting from foster care: 6 myths that aren’t true –

Oh South Carolina…smh

Typically birth mothers fight with foster parents to get their children back. In this “truth is stranger than fiction” (Mark Twain) narrative, Chris Emanuel had two fights: (1) the perception that men are strictly sperm donors and a source of revenue and (2) a judicial system that has been slow to recognize the rights of birth fathers to their children.

Luckily, this story has a happy ending.

Registering as a responsible father gave Emanuel the right to be notified of the adoption, but in order to actually gain custody of Skylar, he had to persuade the judge that he could provide for her.  

via A Father’s Struggle to Stop His Daughter’s Adoption – The Atlantic.

A friendly reminder…

Do not call, text, or email me a smiley face with the caption: “Happy Father’s Day.” I get it. Some women declare themselves mother and father. If that works for them, great. As for me and my home, I am and will forever be mama, mommy, and mom.

via Do Not Wish Me A Happy Father’s Day — mater mea.

Phillip Browning is the Director of the Department of Children and Family Services for Los Angeles County. Hear his interview about the numbers of children in foster care and how children come to the attention of the county. Though there are more Latino children in the system, African American children are over-represented. If you are interested in fostering and/or adopting, contact or 1(888) 811-1121.

Los Angeles has the second largest child welfare program in the country, after New York City, with about 36,000 children in the county’s care.

via Take Two | The state of LA’s foster care system, and one couple’s journey to become parents | 89.3 KPCC.

It’s pretty normal for children to fantasize that their real parents are king and queen of the world and that the people currently masquerading as mom and dad are last minute stand-ins. These flights of fancy are greater for adopted children, whose lack of blood ties and/or physical resemblance to adoptive parents impact them on a deeper level. Some children runaway and others act out. Either way, it’s not personal. Adopted children just want to be whole.

Adoptee Jennifer Leigh Peepas shares her quest for her birth mother.

Every trip to the city was a chance to possibly glimpse them or their trail, and if we’re being honest, finding them was becoming more and more about finding her. My. Real. Mom. She could be anyone, anywhere! The lady with the cool beehive in line at the bank. The one with the pixie cut and the bicycle who rode alongside our station wagon and waved back at me when I waved to her.

via When My Mom Was an Astronaut — The Archipelago — Medium.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a wonderful memoir by Journalist Caroline Clarke. Although “Empire” is the 21st century Black “Dynasty”, “Postcards from Cookie: A Memoir of Motherhood, Miracles, and a Whole Lot of Mail”, is the book version. Filled with classism, teen pregnancy, mother-daughter conflicts, secrecy and Hollywood drama, it is also the only adoption memoir by a Black woman. Hopefully I’m wrong and missed a few titles during my endless Internet and library catalog searches. Anyway, her memoir confirms what I’ve been saying for years: 1. Black people do adopt, and 2. the Black adoption experience is complicated.


Award-winning journalist and host of Black “Enterprise” Business Report Caroline Clarke’s moving memoir of her surprise discovery of her birthmother—Cookie Cole, the daughter of Nat King Cole—and the relationship that blossomed between them through the heartfelt messages they exchanged on hundreds of postcards.

Postcards from Cookie: A Memoir of Motherhood, Miracles, and a Whole Lot of Mail: Caroline Clarke: 9780062103185: Books.


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